


With him, my heart, it disappeared

by fuckkforever



Category: The Libertines
Genre: Albion, M/M, Post-concert adrenaline, impossible love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23855521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckkforever/pseuds/fuckkforever
Summary: Carl always wants to have sex after live performances; Peter thinks it’s because of post-concert adrenaline.
Relationships: Carl Barat/Pete Doherty, Carl Barât & Pete Doherty
Kudos: 50





	With him, my heart, it disappeared

Carl always wants to have sex after live performances; Peter thinks it’s because of post-concert adrenaline.

When millions of people sing along the words of songs he poured his heart into, he feels invincible. It’s like a drug.

Peter loves to look at the proud smile on his handsome face, then.

And when they greet the crowd goodbye, and leave their instruments, and go back to their dressing rooms, sweaty and enthusiastic, Carl grabs the taller boy, his best friend, and kisses him hard. They always end up having backstage sex. But then he leaves soon, afterwards. The magic vanishes pretty quickly.

Peter looks at him with saddened eyes every time they do a gig. Because he knows, in his heart, that Carl will never love him on a normal, rainy day, with no adrenaline in his body. But Pete would.

Melancholia always gets to him when he looks in those blue eyes, where he can find Albion. They really are something worth living for. Peter knows then that he will never recover from his desperate love.

Pete knows Carl is only courageous enough to take him when he can blame it on adrenaline, or drugs. He doesn’t get mad with him, anyway. He was always afraid of his feelings.

Peter should be used to that.

But then again, he can’t help but die a little every time Carl looks away from him.

Peter only manages to move on because his love runs deep; he can feel it, the feeling he's been chasing all his life, right in his veins.

But there will come a day, he knows that, when it will be all too painful.

He will have to say goodbye to Albion, too, then. And he will break Carl’s kiss.

Hazel eyes will look away from blue ones.

But the burden in his shattered heart will remain there forever.

Singing “Music when the lights go out” will make him regret leaving that part of his life behind.

Peter knows someday all of that will happen. But, for now, as Carl’s teeth bite into his lower lip, and some tears threaten to fall from his closed eyes, Peter is alright.

That night, he will try to steal everything he can from the rubble of their impossible love.


End file.
